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Devadasi
Chapter Listing
Chapter XIV
' There is no need to take it so hard my dear ', Muthu kept saying.
' Take to your dancing again, take an interest in life and in other people,
and you will soon forget him. The temple will be glad to have you back in
spite of all the ceremonies you have performed. This sort of thing happens
to all of us sometime or other. In a way, I am glad that you have got it
out of your system so early in life.'
' Hasn't he sent anyone to find out why I left him?' Meena inquired.
' Hasn't at least Ganapathy come ? '
' No he hasn't sent anyone.' Muthu lied. ' It shows how much he cares for
you, doesn't it ? '
' After all that has happened, I thought, perhaps, he might come to see me.'
' Well, he hasn't and it is just as well,' said Muthu. ' Now you can devote
yourself to your art.'
' I can't mother.'
' Why not ? '
' I can't dance because I'm pregnant.'
A bomb shell could not have created a greater sensation. Muthu was
dumbfounded. She stared at her daughter for a full half minute before
speaking.
' So you did not want a single thing from him, a single thing to remind you
of him: But you are landed with something that will be a constant reminder
of him, not for a month or two, but for ever.'
' Yes I shall never be able to forget him.'
' Oh, the shame of it ! Why didn't you tell me before ? ' Muthu was now
secretly regretting having sent Udayar off so unceremoniously.
' There wasn't much time was there ? Everything happened so suddenly.'
' How long have you known it ? '
' Only the last two weeks or so.'
' If so, something can be done about it.'
' No mother, he might have betrayed me and I might have left him, but I am
not going to lose my child.' ' Who do you think is going to look after it
while you go off dancing ? And do you think men will feel romantic
about a woman with a baby ? Where are you going to get the money for it ? '
' You brought me up some how, and I shall bring up my baby in the same way.
But I am not going to get rid of it, you understand ?'
' Will it not remind you of the man you are trying to forget?'
' I don't care, but I am going to have my baby even if it kills me.'
Gradually, Meena returned to her daily chores. But the magic had gone out
of her life. She went about things in a dispirited manner. She never went
out of the house; never spoke to people. Her only contact with the outside
world was through her mother.
One day, Muthu herself raised the subject of Udayar, '. Don't you think he
should be told about your pregnancy and made to take some responsibility ? '
she asked Meena. ' It should be his business to provide for you as well as
for the baby.'
' I don't want him to know' Meena shouted vehemently.
' Do you hear mother ? I don't want him to know ever. If you tell him, I am
going to throw myself into the well and end my life.'
' How can I feed you and provide for the baby ? ' cried Muthu. ' Before all
this happened, there was hope of your success and I could borrow money on
the strength of it. You were young and attractive and talented, and people
knew you could earn money. But when once people know you are pregnant, who
would lend money to support a pregnant woman?'
' I don't care what you do, but do not go to him for money.' Meena pleaded.
' When once I have the baby, I will do whatever you want and try to earn as
much as possible. I am cured of love for ever.'
' If you do not love him, you would not mind taking money from him.'
' It is all over, mother' Meena said with tears in her eyes. But I do not
want him to know that he has a child.'
' As you wish ' Muthu agreed reluctantly.
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