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Devadasi
Chapter Listing
Chapter XVII
Now, he was free; he could go where he liked, do what he fancied. No one knew
who he was, where he came from and what his status in life was. He dressed
simply in a coarse cotton dhoti with a towel over his shoulders. He carried
a bundle under his arm. As days went on, his clothes became somewhat dirty
thanks to his indifferent washing in rivers and tanks where he had his baths.
He was like any other wanderer in search of peace, enlightenment or salvation.
There were always many such people in India and he became one of them,
wandering from temple to temple, from one choultry to another. He ate when he
felt like it, and slept when and where it suited him. Anonymity gave him a
sense of peace, and in loneliness, what was a growing pain became a dull ache.
He was learning to live with his grief in the solitude of his own mind.
Unconsciously, he found himself following the same route as he had taken when
he went with Meena, visiting the same places and worshipping at the same
temples. Perhaps, he was trying to recapture something he had lost, a mood he
could not recover. He wanted to give up this world and lose himself in an orgy
of Godliness, but it was a futile attempt. The image of Meena laughing, crying,
tantalising stood in his way. While he was listening o a religious discourse,
or to the hymns at the temple, he kept wondering if Meena had gone back to her
dancing. And the memory of that first night, when he had seen her dance came
back to him. He remembered the different poses she had assumed, and caught
himself comparing them with the statues he saw in the temples he visited. No,
he could not forget this world and he could not give it up.
Attempts to forget
himself in an orgy of Godliness were no better than his attempts to forget
his sorrows in women and drink. He was different from all the other wanderers
in one respect at least. Others, whether they were sadhus or mendicants, were
very gregarious. They traveled in groups, broke up and joined other groups.
They chatted and quarreled with each other and often shared their meager
belongings. But Udayar never spoke to anyone; nor did he encourage others to
talk to him. This desire for loneliness was something that the others could
not understand. In spite of his unkempt appearance, there was a dignity about
him that was rather disconcerting to the others. Many of them never bothered
to buy tickets on the train and were often turned out by the ticket collectors.
Begging was always considered respectable among them since they always did it
in the name of God. The fact that Udayar always bought a ticket when he
traveled, invariably paid for his food, and never borrowed from anyone else,
set him apart from the rest. After a few weeks, others began to eye him with
curiosity, interest and suspicion. And in his absence, they discussed him
freely among themselves. ' May be he is running away from the police,' they
said. Living as they did, always on the outer fringes of the law, this was
the first thing that occurred to them. ' He must have robbed someone,
because, he is never short of money.' ' Who knows, he might even have
committed a murder ! ' ' Whatever he might be, he is certainly not religious,'
they concluded. ' His knowledge of our mythology and our tradition and our
festivals is poor. And he often walks away in the middle of a religious
discourse.' When once they came to these conclusions, they left him to
himself. If he had a criminal record, he was best avoided. It was not that
they were afraid of or unused to a criminal record. Many of them had been in
gaol for petty crimes like thieving, for traveling without tickets and for
quarreling. But these were part of their life. They were not ashamed of them
and even boasted how they had managed to evade the police. But petty larceny
was one thing and a serious crime that necessitated running away was another.
Such people had best be left to themselves.
But there was one man who followed
Udayar, one who had a criminal record and who had made a note of the small
bundle securely tied to the corner of Udayar's dhoti. He knew, that whether
Udayar had a criminal record or not, he did have a lot of money. So, he
followed him, watched his movements and his habits of eating, sleeping and
living and waited for his opportunity.
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