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Devadasi
Chapter Listing
Chapter XXVI
Chinnamma went to her meeting with Meena with considerable anxiety and fear.
She knew many men had mistresses, but they were not a part of a married woman's
life. Their existence went unrecognised, except on those rare occasions when a
man foolishly spent all his money on his mistress and left his wife and children
to fend for themselves. Even then, it was discussed only in private among his
relations, and rarely mentioned in public. No wife went to meet her husband s
mistress, even in secret. But Ganapathy had assured Chinnamma that no mistress
was like Meena and she had come to depend more and more on Ganapathy's
practical, earthy wisdom. She worried if she was doing the right thing, what
people would say if they found out about it and, most important of all, what
her husband would say.
She dressed with considerable care for the occasion. She expected Meena to be
fashionable and sophisticated, all the things that she was not. So, instead of
competing in being modern, she decided to wear her most expensive sari and
heavy gold jewellery. She was somehow quite sure that Meena would not have
such expensive things.
But she need not have worried. Meena had been expecting her. and treated her
as if Chinnamma was her mistress and she, her slave. She was dressed in simple
every day clothes, and one or two gold ornaments which she had bought out of
the rent from the corner farm. Chinnamma felt very over dressed and it made her
feel more embarrassed. Meena welcomed her and offered the only wooden chair in
the house for her to sit. But Chinnamma refused it and preferred to sit on the
floor on a mat. Meena placed a cushion for her comfort and herself sat at a
respectful distance. When Meena offered her something to eat, Chinnamma said
' No.'
' Please have some light refreshments,' Meena pleaded, You have been on a long
journey from Sirumudi, and you must be tired and hungry. I know your caste
restrictions - everything has been prepared by a brahmin cook and I have not
touched them in any way. I merely told him what to make '
Now that her caste scruples had been satisfactorily met Chinnamma washed her
hands and feet in the back yard, and ate some of the deliciously prepared
snacks.
' Are you not going to have something ? ' she asked Meena.
' I would not presume to eat with you,' replied Meena, for eating together
implied social equality. Then she continued 'It is not often that I have the
privilege of entertaining someone like you in my poor home. If you had sent for
me, I would have come to meet you anywhere, because I have been eager to meet
you. But I could not come to your house without your permission and without
people talking about it. And we couldn't have met anywhere else. That is why
you had to come here'.
Chinnamma was overwhelmed by Meena's charm and the respect she showed to her.
Used as she was to the girls in her own village, with little or no education
and no interests beyond farming and family, it was a revelation to her that a
devadaasi who was considered a social outcast could have such politeness and
culture and the ability to put some one at ease with a few well chosen words.
But she was still a little reserved 'You are very kind,' she said trying to
match Meena's politeness.
' I want you to understand one thing,' Meena continued. ' In everything, you
come first. You are his wife, you have a status in society to maintain and you
are recognised by the world. I am merely his play-thing. I may be here today
and gone tomorrow if he gets tired of me. And I will not forget your kindness
in coming to see me. Most wives in your position would have done their best to
prevent their husband going back to the mistress. But you have trusted me and
I will be worthy of that trust. If at any time your interests clash with mine,
I will give in without a murmur. You never need worry on my account.'
Chinnamma was deeply moved by the sincerity and the affection in Meena's words.
Under other circumstances, she would have gone and hugged her and shed tears
with her, but an innate reserve, generations of tradition, the fact that Meena
was ' after all ' a devadaasi, stood in the way. And one side of her was still
wary. ' Why have you done all this for me ?' she asked.
' Oh, there are so many reasons,' said Meena shrugging her shoulders. ' But
most of them are selfish I am afraid. If he had neglected you permanently, he
would have probably regretted it in his old age and would have blamed me for
not having a son recognised by the world. Frankly, I could not bear to be
blamed like that. Or sooner or later, he would have wanted you back, may be in
a fit of anger against me, may be in a fit of religious or moral fervour, or
in a moment of family loyalty. Then, he might have left me. But as it is, he
will be grateful to me for having made him take you back and he knows that I
have his interests at heart. He might think twice before leaving me now. So
you see, my action was really selfish.'
Some how, this made Chinnamma feel better and think even more highly of Meena.
' Not many women would have done what you did, in the circumstances,' she said.
' Not many women would have come to see me, like you have done,' Meena
countered. ' Most would have spent their time devising ways and means of
stopping their husbands coming to see me. But you have never spoken a word
against me.'
May be her husband had not told Meena about the only conversation they had had
about her. Even if he had, the fact that Meena had ignored it showed her wisdom
and tact.
' I would not know how to turn him against you,' said Chinnamma frankly.
' Now that I have met you, I would not want to.'
' Yes, I can see you are very innocent; he is lucky to have a wfe like you'
They talked like this for some time. Slowly, Chinnamma became free and easy
with Meena. The instant liking they took to each other was gradually becoming
a warm affection They discussed the man they both loved, never mentioning him
by name since that was not considered polite, but always referring to him as
'he'. Each loved him in a different way but both, with true loyalty and
devotion. That love, as weli as the innate goodness that each possessed,
brought them together and created bonds of sympathy and understanding between
them. The jealousy and the humiliation that Chinnamma felt gradually gave way,
though a little of the reserve still remained.
' But you are so clever,' Chinnamma said. ' You can sing and dance and are
good at conversation and ..' she hesitated. ' You know how to please men.'
' Yes, I know all these things,' Meena replied with a sigh They help you to
attract a man and enable you to take his money from him, but not necessarily to
keep him. I have no claims recognised by society, no rights and no privileges
.... and no security.'
' Yes, I suppose your situation in many ways is worse than mine,' Chinnamma
could now afford to offer sympathy What will happen to you if he were to leave
you ? '
Meena told her about the farm he had bought for her and the child she had lost.
' So you see, even if he were to leave me I will have some income and need not
go back to the life that had been planned for me from birth. I suppose I will
live like a widow. Only, I cannnot even wear white,'
' He will not leave you if I have anything to do with it,' Chinnamma declared.
' He has promised never to Ieave me,' Meena said. ' He has never broken his
promise, but where women are concerned, a man's promise is only as good as his
love. In the last two years, we have been through a lot together and I think
he has full trust in me now.'
' I think he needs us both for his happiness,' said Chinnamma. ' Each of us
individually can fulfil only half his needs. But between us, we can keep him
happy and contented.'
Then, having come to a satisfactory understanding about their own lives, they
talked about other things, about their families, about having children, about
Udayar's likes and dislikes and his moods. Far from being jealous or upset,
Chinnamma felt that she had found a friend with whom she could share her
innermost thoughts. After all, she was sharing her husband with her. However,
one thing still bothered Chinnamma and she wondered if she should ask Meena
about it.
' Do you mind if I ask you something, something personal ?' enquired Chinnamma
hesitantly.
' Please ask whatever you want,' said Meena. ' As I told you before, you can
trust me as your servant and I will not be offended.'
' It is just this. How do you manage to look so attractive with so little
jewellery and no expensive sari ?'
Meena smiled. ' It is the one good thing my former profession has taught me,'
she said. She came over to where Chinnamma was sitting. ' Please stand up,'
she said.
Chinnamma stood up awkwardly. Meena walked round her. ' You see, you have a
very nice and expensive sari, but you wear it like a peasant girl,' Meena
bit her lip fearing she had offended her guest. ' I hope you don't mind my
saying it.'
' Please tell me, I want to learn about it all,' said Chinnamma. ' Not that I
want to compete with you, but I would like to be a little more sophisticated.
After all, I am really only a village girl who happens to have some money.'
'You wear your sari bunched at the back. It doesn't do anything for your figure.
Instead of using buttons, you tie your blouse in the front which is not very
elegant. You use a lot of turmeric on your face which makes it very colourless.
Come, I will show you what I use'.
Meena took her into her room. And for the next half an hour, they were
engrossed in a subject that her husband would not even know existed.
At last, Ganapathy made his appearance. ' Amma, we have to leave now if we are
to get back before dark.'
Chinnamma rose to go. ' I came here thinking of you as a rival,' she said.
' And I am going back having acquired a sister'
' Think of me not so much as a friend but as a loyal servant or companion if
you like, for I will never consider myself your equal,' Meena said as they
parted.
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